Waltzing Mathilda

Friday, December 29, 2006

Big N, little y, BIG FRAKKING Q

Spent part of my evening yesterday trying to get my niece to say "Evil Superfresh." It's so cute when she does it.

Got a call from them this afternoon. They want me to come in so the manager and "Lester" can apologize to me in person.

I think it's a trick. Need to find an axe.

Maybe I should go. Since my sister is suddenly down with the flu, so I could "pick up" some NyQuil for her while I'm there.

Zen Question of the Day: Since New Year's is coming up, what's yer favorite cocktail/beer/wine/drink of choice?

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Happy Christmas to all...

Merry Christmas!

1040 on christmas eve. waiting for santa. checked www.noradsanta.mil and he was over north carolina. should be here any moment now...

'rents are on a two week cruise in god-(or jeebus)-knows-where. sis is about 40 minutes away with her 'rents-in-law. i spent today cleaning a bathtub and relishing in the glorious death of flour moths.

trying to celebrate christmas without someone who obviously poured her heart and soul into the holiday to show her love for her family is difficult. it could never be as hard for me as it is for those around me but it is difficult for me to acknowledge that maddy will never know her generosity the way the rest of us did. every parent wants the best for their child and i know that maddy has lost a wonderful part of her childhood she will never even realize she had, no matter what we may do to tell her.

i have a theory that santa looks like clive owen. i would like to try to stay up to find out. reenact "i saw mommy kissing santa claus." but after a few glasses of wine and some pseudo-nyquil (stolen from my father-in-law's stash-i figure, if the boot fits...), i'm not sure i can stay awake. plus, Santa probably looks like Super-Monkey.

yeah, did anyone know that Superman had a pet monkey named Super-Monkey? Things you learn from playing a 1984 version of Jr Trivial Pursuit. Things you never really wanted to know. Things you might have nightmares about if hopped up on wine and nyquilsz. Well, not really, but it's time for me to go to bed anyway.

...and to all a good night.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

My Bad

By the way, folks, if you are wondering why you didn't get a Christmas card from us this year, it's due to a combination of us being slacker punks and Wal-Mart. Don't feel like going into it, but we'll make it up to you next year or something.

Zen Question of the Day: Why is it my shoes cost $15 from Payless and Maddy's cost $12? You would think that if her feet were 1/3 the size of mine, her shoes would be 1/3 the cost of mine. I think it's a conspiracy.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Confession #2

Because we deal with a lot of businesses, my company has a parade of food-oriented gifts come through our office during this time of year, mainly in "chocolate" form. I am able to ignore most of these, but a tin of caramels glided into my life today. Hmmmm.....caramels. Not the grandfatherly Wethers Originals, but yummy, gooey, melt-in-yo'-mouf caramels.

So, confession: I had two caramels, a mini-snickers, and a mini-Milky Way today. The Milky Way was because I was starving when I got to work (I should eat better breakfasts), the Snickers was a sweet counterpart to my salty lunch (spinach rice w/ feta-I had read that human taste buds are designed to seek out sweet foods after a salty lunch and vice-versa-not sure if it's true but I have noticed I do that now. Not sure if its because it really happens or if it's amm in me head), and the caramels were, well, just because.

Ugh.

See, Ma?

I told you global warming has benefits.

(Now she's gonna disown me.)

Introducing...

the Zen Question of the Day. I will offer a question each day (this translates to: whenever the heck I feel like it) and you are free to post the answer on my blog or link to yer own.

Inaugural Zen Question of the Day: Is Jamee the fithliest, dirtiest hoodlum you know? (Kevin Smith, you already answered this question so you can't play again.)

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

im in yo' sto' stealin' yer nyquilzs

So when I told Mike that I was still fuming about the Superfresh and that I didn't think I would be able to sleep tonight, he said: "You know what would help you sleep? NyQuil."

I hate him.

THIS is why I don't like going anywhere

I end up having to write letters like this:

"December 19, 2006

Dear Mr H-,

I am writing to express my extreme displeasure regarding an incident that occurred today at your store.

After dropping my car off for an oil change, I stopped into your store to get some gelatin and perhaps some salami to make holiday gifts for my family. I selected a box of gelatin and walked around to the deli section to look at the salami. As there was very little selection as usual, I walked around to the meat section to see if there was anything else. Since the selection was still slim, I decided to not buy anything at all and head home instead. I put the gelatin back and headed for the door.

I was tapped on the back by your employee Lester who demanded to know where I had put the Nyquil. I had no idea what he was talking about and told him I did not have any Nyquil. He asked again and I began to understand that he thought I was shoplifting. I explained that I did not have any Nyquil, that he was welcome to search my belongings and I began pulling out what I had in my pockets-some packs of gum, my wallet, keys and cell phone. I took off my sweatshirt as well. He still wanted to know where I had put the Nyquil. I explained that I had never gone near any Nyquil and that I had briefly considered buying some gelatin. I then had to show him where the gelatin was. He threatened me with viewing the security cameras and I told him I would gladly stay in the store while he did so. I then asked for an apology, which I did not get, the name of his manager, and a store phone number. I had to ask him for that information twice.

I am a mother, wife, and good citizen. And frankly, I make enough money that I do not need to steal. While I understand that shoplifting is a serious problem for retailers, I do NOT understand why the situation was handled in this manner. I was confronted near the door and the checkout registers where anyone could overhear. I do not think you should allow your store’s patrons to be treated in this way. At the very least, Lester could have pulled me quietly aside to explain the situation to me and allow me to explain/defend myself. Last time I checked, I lived in America, where you are innocent until proven guilty. I do not think grocery store employees should assert themselves as judge and jury.

I expect an apology from your store and I hope you consider retraining your employees to better handle these situations. For my own part, I will never shop at your store again and I am certain my friends and family will follow suit. I am also copying this letter to your corporate headquarters.

Sincerely, "

Monday, December 18, 2006

Time To Get Outta Dodge

Stolen from Renee

"10:16AM - Subject: Statistics
Sent to me by someone who serves:Regardless of where you stand on the issue of the U.S. involvement in Iraq, here's a sobering statistic. There has been a monthly average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theatre of operations during the last 22 months, and a total of 2,112 deaths. That gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000 soldiers. The firearm death rate in Washington D.C. is 80.6 per 100,000 persons for the same period. That means that you are about 25% more likely to be shot and killed in the U.S. Capital than you are in Iraq. Conclusion: The U.S. should pull out of Washington."

Eat Chikuns Not Cows

I noticed that our next door neighbors starting moving out shortly after we had our house sprayed for fleas. Which leads to the only logical conclusion: our neighbors were giant flea monsters who had commandeered a human family, stolen their flesh for a clever disguise, and were quietly plotting for world domination. Yay us, we saved the world. Or at least, relocated their operations to at least 500 yards away.

I copied an article below and you can find the original here

Kids With High IQs Grow Up to Be Vegetarians
The smarter they are, the more likely they'll shun meat as adults, British researchers contend
By Steven Reinberg, HealthDay Reporter

FRIDAY, Dec. 15 (HealthDay News) -- As a child's IQ rises, his taste for meat in adulthood declines, a new study suggests.
British researchers have found that children's IQ predicts their likelihood of becoming vegetarians as young adults -- lowering their risk for cardiovascular disease in the process. The finding could explain the link between smarts and better health, the investigators say.
"Brighter people tend to have healthier dietary habits," concluded lead author Catharine Gale, a senior research fellow at the MRC Epidemiology Resource Centre of the University of Southampton and Southampton General Hospital.
Recent studies suggest that vegetarianism may be associated with lower cholesterol, reduced risk of obesity and heart disease. This might explain why children with high IQs tend to have a lower risk of heart disease in later life.
The report is published in the Dec. 15 online edition of the British Medical Journal.
"We know from other studies that brighter children tend to behave in a healthier fashion as adults -- they're less likely to smoke, less likely to be overweight, less likely to have high blood pressure and more likely to take strenuous exercise," Gale said. "This study provides further evidence that people with a higher IQ tend to have a healthier lifestyle."
In the study, Gale's team collected data on nearly 8,200 men and women aged 30, whose IQ had been tested when they were 10 years of age.
"Children who scored higher on IQ tests at age 10 were more likely than those who got lower scores to report that they were vegetarian at the age of 30," Gale said.
The researchers found that 4.5 percent of participants were vegetarians. Of these, 2.5 percent were vegan, and 33.6 percent said they were vegetarian but also ate fish or chicken.
There was no difference in IQ score between strict vegetarians and those who said they were vegetarian but who said they ate fish or chicken, the researchers add.
Vegetarians were more likely to be female, of higher social class and better educated, but IQ was still a significant predictor of being vegetarian after adjustment for these factors, Gale said.
"Vegetarian diets are associated with lower cardiovascular disease risk in a number of studies, so these findings suggest that a such a diet may help to explain why children or adolescents with a higher IQ have a lower risk of coronary heart disease as adults," Gale said.
One expert said the findings aren't the whole answer, however.
"This study left many unanswered questions such as: Did the vegetarian children grow up in a household with a vegetarian parent? Were meatless meals regularly served in the household? Were the children eating a primarily vegetarian diet at the age of 10?" said Lona Sandon, an assistant professor of clinical nutrition at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center at Dallas.
"In addition, we don't know the beliefs or attitudes of the parents of the children, nor do we know if there was a particular event that led these children to becoming vegetarian in their teens or adulthood," Sandon said.
As the study showed, more women than men chose a vegetarian diet, Sandon noted. "Other research shows that women in general will focus more on their health than men. So, if they believe that a vegetarian diet will have health benefits, they are more likely to follow it," she said.
Given these factors, "we cannot draw any solid conclusions from this research," Sandon added.
Another expert agreed that a vegetarian diet is healthy.
"The evidence linking vegetarianism to good health outcomes is very strong," said Dr. David L. Katz, the director of the Prevention Research Center and an associate professor of public health at the Yale University School of Medicine.
"Studies, for example, of vegetarian Seventh-Day Adventists in California suggest that they have lower rates of almost all major chronic diseases, and greater longevity, than their omnivorous counterparts," Katz said. "Evidence is also strong and consistent that greater intelligence, higher education, and loftier social status -- which tend to cluster with one another -- also correlate with good health."

I was a vegetarian for four years-I decided to start eating chicken and fish again about a year ago. So of course, I do not think badly of vegetarians. But honestly, how smart are 33.6% of these "high IQ vegetarians" if they do not realize that BY EATING CHICKEN AND FISH THEY ARE NOT VEGETARIANS!

Sorry, folks. Mr Dictionary describes vegetarianism as this:

veg·e·tar·i·an Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[vej-i-tair-ee-uhn] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun
1.
a person who does not eat or does not believe in eating meat, fish, fowl, or, in some cases, any food derived from animals, as eggs or cheese, but subsists on vegetables, fruits, nuts, grain, etc. –adjective
2.
of or pertaining to vegetarianism or vegetarians.
3.
devoted to or advocating this practice.
4.
consisting solely of vegetables

...and just because you don't eat beef or pork, does not mean you are vegetarian.

Furthermore, the study itself considers these people vegetarians which, to me, kinda negates it. Also, it notes there was no difference in IQ score between the vegitarians and "flexitarians" which means that eating meat in general is not related to IQ, just the type of meat eaten. But I still don't buy it.

What I do get from this study is that as people are more educated, they try to eat better. Now if science were to prove that eating an all-beef diet was the healthiest thing to do, some of these "vegetarians" would switch. The other vegetarians who are doing it for religious or ethical reasons would not. IQ is probably not too relevant. Fortunately, the author does notate this, but I still think the headline was completely misleading.

Speaking of food, weigh-in time:

Mike: 202.8
Me: 147

Not bad given the obstacles of last week. This week should be much better. Ample opportunities to hit the Y, dinner at home every night this week...

Friday, December 15, 2006

10 Things I (don't) Know About You

Let's talk first impressions.

I work with someone who thinks that, because I like horror movies, that horror is all I like. That I am some sort of gloomy, Goth person that thinks nothing of death and destruction.

If this person had enough brain cells to handle complex thought, I would try to explain to me that I like a lot of things. But I realize it is a lost cause.

But it led to me wonder about the impressions people have of each other. People naturally make assumptions about other people. I am curious about assumptions I have about others and if they are correct or not.

So what I am looking for here are 10 things that you think people would be surprised to know about you. Not your close friends and relatives-they presumably know this stuff. I am referring to people you work with or others you have a casual relationship with.

So here's my list. If you want to participate, post a comment on my blog entry with your own list or post a link to your own blog or website and put your list there.

10 Things You Don't Know About Me
1) I love Gone With the Wind
2) I love to cook (people at work are shocked by this)
3) I miss going to church sometimes
4) My goal in life is to buy a century old (or older farm), have a vegetable garden, and be one of those little old ladies selling preserves and veggies on the side of the road. I will have a straw hat and a cane to smack uppity people with.
5) I want to teach so I can make a positive contribution to society
6) I may hate makeup and girly things, but I like lotions and soap that smell like food
7) Actually, comedies are my favorite movie genre
8) I don't watch much TV, but when I do its Food Network, baby.
9) I am a complete slob at home (people at work think I am neat and organized)
10) I secretly love Christmas music, especially Bing Crosby and Burl Ives. (I can't stand the cheesy Mariah Carey-stuff, but I think people would expect that of me)

Heh heh

Check this out

See! Dolphins aren't smart

But isn't this the best headline ever?

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Forgive me, for I have sinned...

I was doing so good today-toast for breakfast, 'nana for a snack (or a 'nack as Rory would call it), yummy tortilla soup for lunch, and a lowfat chocolate milk and lowfat homemade cranberry muffin as a afternoon snack.

Where did I go wrong? I had to go into the city for a meeting with a professor, left just in time to get stuck in rush hour traffic, and it took me an hour to drive halfway home when it would normally take me an hour total. So by 7, the time I got halfway home, I was starving and realised I was near a Chik Fil A.

Fortunately, I felt so gross after eating it that I can't imagine going again any time soon.

Unfortunately, the office holiday party is tomorrow.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Yay me!







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Weight update

Since my sister is bitchin...

I plan on posting weekly updates re: weight loss.

Me: 147
Mike: 202.2

Hurdles last week-christmas cookies, but I allowed myself one a day (except for today cause they were getting soggy) and my birthday. Ate out a coupla times and made sausage gravy for a breakfast birthday...mmmm...snausage gravy.....

Accidentally ran 5 miles on Sunday. How is this possible, you ask? Went running with Kelly and Kevin and meant to stop after a few miles. Got so wrapped up in it, that I didnt. The aching just stopped today.

Hurdles this week-bunch of meetings at night for me, preventing us from having regular dinners together and going to the gym. Will have to make up for it this weekend. Need to wrap presents and send out cards. Finish christmas shopping. But tonight, I made a tortilla soup and tuna melts from my new Weight Watchers Takeout Cookbook and it was lovely.

btw-there are no rules. You hold yourself accountable however you and your partner wish. You just can't chop off any of your own or your spouse's limbs. That's cheating. And not very nice.

(Mom would say I got that idea from watching violent films! Maybe I shouldn't have watched Audition this weekend.)

"Tonight, on a very special ER..."






Maddy had her first trip to the emergency room on Sunday night..Poor little bug. Doc said it was just a viral infection, pumped her full of Tylenol and Motrin and sent us home. She still looks tired, is goopy, and you can see how red her nose is and how sad she looks.




She's going to the doctor again tomorrow.

Mike refers to December as "Jamee Appreciation month." A sweet way to express that he is a psychopath. As it is, today he sent me an email asking what I wanted for our special day tomorrow. I had no clue what he was talking about. Turns out, yesterday is the 10th anniversary of when we met. He's way more on top of this than I am.

But it's kinda scary-meeting him doesn't seem that long ago. Flashforward 10 years and I have graduated high school (Mike the pedophile!), college, gotten married, had a kid, bought a house and will finish my Master's within the next year. Not bad. But it's gone by so fast. I feel like I will go to sleep tonight and wake up tomorrow and he will be saying we met each other 20 years ago.

I'll have a ten year old then. Sheesh. She'll probably hate me to. Just because I posted that picture above.

In other news, our kitchen is actually livable now! It is now a wonderful "sugarplum" color, my Kill Bill poster looks great, and I have twice the workspace I originally had. I have so much cupboard space that everything is spread out and, get this...organized. My only problem is I am so used to cutting on my little ceramic countertop that I have to constantly remind myself I have a counter behind me.

Next project will be to paint my nasty cupboards black. And get a new toaster-sorry, but my white, $5 and 6 year old toaster from Walmart no longer does the trick. I will look for one of those 50s style black and silver ones. 'Twill look wicked!







Saturday, December 09, 2006

"I was born...the day they shot John Lennon's brain..."

Well, I was. Technically. I was born 9PM December 7th, Hawaiian standard time, which means it would have been 2, 3 am EST on the 8th. Not that it's relevant-I find it still pretty damn sad and think he was one of the biggest losses to the music world.

I had a pretty great birthday (at least up until the end), got lots of neat and useful presents and Michael took me out to lunch. My birthday was soured by the fact I had to finish my project for my last class which consists of a paper and a DVD mini-doc. I hit "Burn DVD" to complete it when the computer froze. It wasn't until after I had rebooted the computer that I realized, at 11PM, that I had forgotten to save it. I had to reedit everything from scratch.

So I talked to my G last night and she asked me how my birthday went:

Me: It was ok, up until the end.
G: (half-shouting, but that's her normal talking voice) Why? Were you drinking?
Me: No, G.
G: (half-shouting, but that's her normal talking voice) Oh. Well, I thought maybe you were drinking and you spent all night throwing up.
Me: No, I had to work on a paper.

I can feel the love. Truly.

Maddybug is currently not feeling well. She is running a high fever and seems lethargic. I think it is a reaction to a flu shot she got, but I still feel bad for her.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Best. Toy. Ever.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Tuesdays with Rory

I picked my favorite niece up from the Y tonight. On the way home, we talked about various things-the Christmas lights on the houses (pretty!), swimming (no, silly Jamee, they don't read books in the pool), and Christmas (btw Santa, Rory wants a princess, a prince, and a monster). While we were almost home when Rory out of the blue said, "Jamee, what about the cheese?"

Ah yes. The cheese. My sister has a penchant for Manchego cheese. I found a hunk of it at Costco, bought it, and called her to tell her about my find. It was all hers, I informed her. $12 bucks worth of cheese.

But alas-Michael one day went to make his yummy (and healthy) verison of Egg McMuffins and we were out of the cheese we typically used. So we cut into the Manchego. It was wonderful. So wonderful, in fact, that when Kelly dropped off her Lard Cookies of Doom last night and went to collect her cheese, there was none to be had. She was very sad and called to leave threatening messages on my cell phone.

Which Rory must have overheard.

"You ate Mommy's cheese, Jamee."
"Um, no I didn't." (Yes, I lied to a four year old.)
"But what happened to it?" (Kid has a future as a the Bad Cop half of a police team.)
"Um, Rory, what type of animal likes cheese more than anything else?"
"Mommy."
"No, no. More than mommy."
"Mice!"
"That's right. So guess who ate the cheese?" (See, here I'm not technically lying to the kid. I'm encouraging her to make her own connections.)
Rory, obviously thinking hard. "Michael mice."
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA."

Weigh In

I got home too late last night to take measurements. Will do tonight.

Me: 151.8
Mike: 203.2

Monday, December 04, 2006

Listen All Of Y'all, It's A Sabotage

Kelly dropped off a pre-birthday gift tonight when I was at school and unable to defend my domain.

Cookies.

Not just any cookies. Some peanut butter chocolate concoction. I don't really like peanut butter cookies. However, after Maddy was born, the hospital wouldn't let me eat anything. I even had to beg for some water. They said they had to make sure they had reconnected me correctly before I was allowed to eat.

That's a reassuring thought.

Eventually given the go ahead, I had gradually progressed from Jello (I was so hungry it actually tasted good) to nasty a** hospital food when in walks my sister around noon with bucket full of these cookies. I thanked her and set them aside thinking Michael would eat them when he returned after work. And then I got hungry. And they kept bringing me hamburgers (I don't eat red meat). So I had one. And then another. They were phenomenal.

By the time Michael found out I had actually been delivered cookies (strange, I forgot to mention that?) they were gone. And he's bitched about it ever since. Like I didn't have my body sliced open and stitched back together, possibly incorrectly, and he's complaining I didn't let him try a cookie.

So, Kelly, thanks for the cookies and the walk down memory lane. I had one and it still tasted great, with the slightest hint of hospital. But because I know what your true cookie agenda is, I did only have one.

Bee-yotch.

Damn you, Kelly Pt II

Because you agreed to my "weight-loss challenge."

My sister and I have made a bet/agreement that we would lose 15 lbs by April 1st. Whoever loses the most will win a prize-probably some sort of GC in the amount of $50.

So from now on, my ever so exciting blog will be filled with incidents in which I avoid and succumb to temptation. Feel free to check out something more interesting.

Leave it to Kelly and me to start trying to lose weight right before Christmas.

Kevin, being the competitive person he is, also has joined in, as has Michael. So I guess we are doing teams? I dunno.

My first confession (already!): mojito flavored jelly beans in the office. I ate two, mainly so I could gloat to Kelly later about how yummy they were (knowing she loves both mojitos and jelly beans).

So why try to lose weight? I am not overweight, but pretty close, according to my BMI. I still have "baby weight" to lose, want an incentive to exercise and, more importantly, want to set a good example for Maddy.

'Nuff said.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Damn you, Kelly!

Ganked from Kelly who ganked from Mario...

I was so embarassed by the results I got from this one that I took it several times, changing my answers each time. I got the same results no matter what.

Pet Quiz at MyPetIdea.com
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I hate those things.

Tilda likes her chowdah

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This is why

we have to lock the cat up whenever we eat. This is Michael sitting at the table trying to enjoy his clam chowder. That black furry thing is the cat, leaping from Mike's chair, over Michae's shoulder and onto the table.

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