Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became My Kid

Maddy is getting increasingly strange and I think it's our fault.

Her favorite toy is a chainsaw. It lights up and makes noise and is just her size. She likes to chainsaw the furniture, the house, my butt, and anything else within reach.

She likes to "eat" things. By which, she will yell out, "I want to eat the (insert strange thing here)!" and then pretend to chomp at whatever the thing is and make gobbling sounds.

I was reading a magazine article about autopsies and there was a picture of a bloody brain in a metal tray. Maddy noticed the picture and asked what it was:

Maddy: What's that, mommy?
Me: Why, that's a human brain, Tilda.
Maddy: I want to eat the brain! (chomping and gobbling ensues)

And you know how you read those horrible news articles about parents who die suddenly in front of their young children? And the children either seek out food or sit besides the parent's body until someone finds them? Well, Tilda and I were wrestling on the bed and I pretended to be dead-didn't move, didn't talk. She was delighted and proceeded to jump up and down on my body.

sigh.

Erg.