Ten things I hate about being pregnant...

1. My stomach feels like it is trying to engulf and escape my body at the same time. It is not a comfortable feeling.
2. Little known fact: babies practice karate in the womb. Practice starts at 11PM every night.
3. You regret seeing previously loved films.




















4. Pregnancy is really for 10 months. Think about it-40 weeks/4...
5. Miss beer.
6. People who previously held intelligent conversations with you about IMPORTANT STUFF now only ask you "How are you feeling?" and then allow their eyes to wander off as you respond to the very question that three other people asked you five minutes before.
7. Babies act like they are assembling IKEA furniture with your internal organs. Trust me, kid, that nerve does NOT, I repeat, does NOT bend that way.
8. You feel permitted to indulge in food that you typically deny yourself and then hate yourself for that fourth peppermint pattie.
9. Occasionally, the baby sits on a nerve, reducing your stature to that of a paraplegic, 90-year old man. If you teach high school, you also get the added bonus of being laughed at as you clutch your back in pain and limp around the room.
10. Miss beer.