Not good...

It's probably not good when your three-year old, upon hearing the oven timer go off, yells out:

"MICHAEL! DINNER'S READY!"

and then:

"MICHAEL! WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DRINK?"

and then, before he can answer:

"A BEER? OHKAY!"

and child then pulls out a beer and brings it over to her father.

No, can't imagine that is good at all.

But it sure is damn useful.

I'm Boned

Knew I shoulda kept the maiden name.

Jamee & Mike's Sick and Twisted Tilda-mation

So Tilda has been sick now for over a week. It came and went. One day she would just seem sniffly. The next day grumpy and tired.

Today she started tugging at her ear so we called the doc who diagnosed her with earache, impetigo, fever and general ickiness.

Since its only the second time she has had anything more than a mild cold since she was born, I can't really complain.

How do you tell when a kid is truly sick? When they refuse ice cream. I took her out for a treat since she looked so bad-chicken nuggets and french fries. She wouldn't touch them. Mom suggested ice cream since Tilda was burning up, but I had to bribe her with a carousel ride to take just one bite. The carousel ride was the first thing that made her smile all day, but it was brief.

Fortunately, two of Tilda's birthday presents were delayed and she got them today. This was the second thing that cheered her up. Of course, it was a baby doll and accompanying clothes. What did she name it? Well, she's been watching Lilo and Stitch a lot, so what do you think she named it?

That's right-Stitch.

I'm so proud o' her.

We picked up her medicine at the grocery store and I was totally not aware that they were flavoring kids medicines! It was like Baskin Robbins 31 Flavors of Penicillin. Truly, everything from Strawberry to Chocolate Banana Fudge Chip. Remarkable. How come they don't offer this to adults? I would love to have my medicine taste like ice cream. Or mojitos. Then again, if they made mojito-flavored birth control pills, the human population would be very short-lived indeed.

And what would Viagra taste like? Actually, scratch that thought. Don't want to think about it.

Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right....

It's bad enough that I lost a game of Candyland to a 3-year old a few days ago.

It's worse that today she made me play a game of Candyland with her stuffed Batman toy.

But how bad it is that I lost to the stuffed Batman toy?

Does that make me a comic book supervillain? Because I battled Batman at Candyland? I lost, but the Joker loses to Batman a lot, right? A comic book villain-that would be a little cool, wouldn't it?

Or is all hope for me lost with gumdrops and peppermint sticks?

Tildaism #23

For some reason, our town has a giant tank in the middle of it. From WWI or WWII or something involving Ws and Is. It has a tankish green hue and stars painted on the back. Tilda noticed it for the first time today.

Tilda: "WOW! Mommy look at the stars. Cool!"

To my knowledge, the first time she has used this word in this manner. Impressed, amused and proud, I say: "You know what else is cool, Tilda? You are. You are the coolest kid in the world."

Tilda stares out the window blankly and unashamedly and unamused, say: "Cool."

Yum Yum Sugar

The bugs strike back!

I received a massive bug bite from some unknown critter. My leg swelled up to the size of a baseball. I am NOT getting the sympathy I deserve. But here is a picture for your enjoyment.