Waltzing Mathilda

Friday, August 31, 2007

ODE TO HUSBAND

… who, unprovoked, bought me a Threadless shirt.

HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY

HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY

HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY

HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY

HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY

HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY

HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY JOY!

Monday, August 27, 2007

A Query Posed to My Dearest Sister

Since you will be in the hospital for most of this week (Labor Day weekend! How funny!) I thought I would bring some movies to watch with you in the hospital. So what shall it be? Rosemary's Baby? Any one of the Alien movies? The Fly?

Hee hee, giggle giggle.

R.I. P.-Garden 2007

Well, I was upset that we had no rain. On Saturday, we got rain. The storm was severe enough to blow two lawn chairs, a plant rack, and all of my drying garlic out into the street (where a car promptly ran over one of the seat pads-you bastards!). It caused the lid of my trashcan to fly up over my house and land plum on my tomatoes. So they are pretty much done for. My broccoli hasn't produced anything. My squash is dead, eaten by those stupid squash bugs (now I kill them just out of spite). The dill burnt up. The only things left are the peppers and basil which seem to do well. Oh, and I have zombie parsley-it died completely two months ago and now is back in full force. Que sera.

So I took a part time job as "adjunct faculty" at a local community college which I find kinda strange. Another attempt to quell the boredom. Should be interesting...

Monday, August 20, 2007

I Love Beer Festivals

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Da Spare

So I think I finished my Master's program. Finally.

And now I'm bored.

I picture the next year to consist of going to work, doing glorified data entry for several hours, coming home, eating, and waiting to go to bed. Each and every night.

For a year, I said.

Occasionally, there might be pie. But nothing else exciting.

Sure, playing with the baby is fun. But it gets old when the baby's idea of fun is to scale Mt. Mommy. This typically involves a baby toe in the eye.

And I know where that toe has been.



Not even my garden has brought me much pleasure this year. The tomatoes are doing great, actually. But my squash...those horrible squash bugs have completely decimated my spaghetti squash, yellow squash, and zucchini-I only got one edible vegetable of the lot. Those evil little buggers apparently suck all the juices out of a healthy squash plant and replace those juices with some sort of toxic squash assassin juice. Like vampires and fair maidens. Like Russia and ex-secret agents. Like Cheney and babies.

I have not come across a good way to kill them. One suggestion was to place a piece of wood out in the garden-apparently, they like wood and gather under it at night, like some sort of squash bug discotheque. In the morning, you are supposed to "dispose" of the hungover and still-comatose squash bugs, but no specifics are ever given. What, am I supposed to dump them in the trash or put a cap in their ass? More details, please.

So I have resorted to the old soapy water remedy. This involves me wearing latex gloves and handpicking squash bugs off of my wilted zucchini plants like the filthy vegetable terrorists they are. If you know me, you know I can't stand bugs, and the idea of having to hold one while they wiggle their little bug legs and squirm in their little bug armor freaks me out to no end. But, it has to be done. Apparently, their favorite squash are pumpkins and I desperately want to protect those.

And they are such soul-less creatures. You put a whole bunch in a container of soapy water-do they try to rescue each other? No, they try to climb over one another, pushing others into the water as they try to climb out of the "Citrus Death (With Scrubbing Oxy-Bubbles!)." As I approach, the big ones scatter, leaving the little ones to perish. No squash bug alarm is sounded. Every squash bug for its bugself.

I am thinking about getting a second job. It would help pay for some of my college debt and hopefully give me something to do. We'll see.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Potty like its 1999

Maddy used the potty for the first time last night! I never thought I would be so excited about something urine-related. As it is, $$$ signs are flashing in my eyes...the thought that I can soon stop buying diapers (saving $35 per month) and wipes (saving $15) per month thrills me....

Oh btw, Kelly, welcome back to the world o' diapers!!!! Hee, hee, hee....

Monday, August 06, 2007

Tildaflections

It looks like Maddy got the Memo for Two Year Olds. It seems the very day she turned two, she changed-she is really into her toys, whereas before she could care less. She has become more picky about the food she eats. She throws temper tantrums.

Note that none of the above are exactly positive things.

She is awfully cute though and becoming more and more verbal by the day. Every time she says goodbye to something, she adds "See you morrow," even to me if I run upstairs to grab something.

I wrote my very last paper for my Master's program tonight. Tomorrow is my very last class. It'll be nice to have that taken off my shoulders but even more enjoyable to get to know the weird guy and cute kid that have been living with me the past two years. What's his name again? Matthew? Mitchell? Yeah, that's it-Mitchell.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Happy Birthday Tilda!!!

You are two! Your great-grandfather died! Your great-grandmother had a stroke!

What a week it has been.

Mike's grandfather, a sweet man who always said "toot toot" to Maddy and also said nice things about me, ("Michael, who is this pretty girl you have with you?") died on Saturday. I didn't know him well and, for the past few years, he would always fall asleep whenever we were over, but I think he must have been a mighty fine man. He was married to his wife Eunice for 65 years, raised 3 wonderful children into fine adults, and got to see grandchildren, great grandchildren, and one great-grand child.

As a retired fireman, his funeral was quite unusual and interesting-a guard of firemen kept watch during the viewing and a fire truck led the way to his gravesite.

In a strange way, I will miss him. He was not my grandfather, but the only grandfather I truly knew died 16 years ago and my other grandfather I don't know very well. In other words, he was close to a grandfather as I could have at this point.

I worry about Mike's grandmother. She must have known this is coming but how do you go on without someone you have lived with for 65 years?

I think about myself in her position, trying to come to grips with Mike's death, and cannot bear it. She is a strong lady.

I came back from Hampton first thing this morning, went straight to work, and came home when my mom called me to tell me that my own G may have had a stroke. We are all waiting for more information.

Meanwhile, ~ has turned 2 years old. Time flies. Life moves on. Cookies get eaten.

Tenatively, we will be heading to the zoo this weekend to celebrate Maddy's birthday. She has never been to the zoo and I think she will enjoy it.

Happy Birthday, Kiddo.